connor day 8

we had a bad day today at the hospital. i really hated connor's nurse today. i hope she is not there tomorrow. she was so negative. i did not want her anywhere near my son. she put connor back on his feeding tube. she said that he is getting too tired while eating. he is falling asleep before he finishes his bottle. she said his weight gain is terrible. that really pissed me off because all the other nurses said his weight gain was fine. he lost some weight at the beginning and has slowly been gaining a little back. he is still 4 pounds 11 ounces. he was gaining an ounce and then losing an ounce. no dramatic weight loss. she was just so negative. she said he is really small. that we should not be expecting to take him home anytime soon. i just hate all the conflicting opinions that the different nurses have. she was super conservative. wanting connor to stay in the hospital for a very long time while other nurses have said he is fine and can go home any day. she was saying how he is not meant to be born yet. he should still be inside me just relaxing and we are making him work too hard. expecting him to eat.

she just made me feel like complete crap. i just feel like it is my fault that he is in the hospital. i should have relaxed more during my pregnancy. i was completely bawling when we left the nicu to get some lunch. it really sucked because we ended up having to spend four hours there. we had our monitor training with a very nice man that the evil nurse was also rude to. i was so happy that when it was time for connor's feeding it was the very nice physical therapist that fed him and not the evil nurse. during his feeding i was saying hi connor. mommy is here and the evil nurse scolded me for distracting him from his bottle. she told me that he can not multitask and i needed to let him focus on eating only. she was horrible. she wouldn't let us hold him or barely touch him. i hate her. ugh. he has had really nice nurses for the most part. they have all been really encouraging and positive. this one was just horrible. i am going to make sure i write that in my evaluation. the hospital just sent me an evaluation form to fill out. it is not that i disagree with her treatment i just think her bedside manner is crap. there is a nice way to talk to people. especially parents who have a newborn in the hospital and are already very sensitive. ugh. it was a bad day.